Millie Faulk, MA, LPC Associate
Supervised by Ellie Rogers, MA, LPC-S
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year, with the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer, it’s the most wonderful time of the year…. It’s the hap-happiest season of all.” Or, is it? The holiday season is often depicted as "the most wonderful time of the year," but the reality can be a mix of joy and stress. As you walk through department stores adorned with festive decorations, receive warm wishes from friends and family, or flip through Christmas cards filled with smiling faces, it’s easy to feel the weight of expectations and comparisons. In this post, we’ll explore how to stay emotionally regulated during this challenging time of year and offer practical tips to help you navigate the season with grace.
Normalize Your Feelings
First, it’s essential to recognize that you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed. The holiday season brings about heightened emotions and stress, and acknowledging this can be the first step toward emotional regulation. The cheerful melodies of holiday songs may seem at odds with your feelings, but remember: it’s okay to have mixed emotions. By normalizing your experience, you can better manage your expectations and find ways to cope.
Tips for Emotional Regulation
Here are some strategies to help you stay balanced during the holidays:
1. Monitor Your Social Media Use
Social media can be a double-edged sword during the holidays. While it connects you with others, it can also fuel feelings of inadequacy and comparison. Set boundaries around your social media use. Consider limiting your time on these platforms and curating your feed to include more positive, uplifting content.
2. Recognize Your Triggers
Identify what situations or interactions trigger stress or anxiety for you during the holidays. Is it certain family gatherings, specific conversations, or even holiday shopping? Being aware of these triggers allows you to prepare for them or avoid them altogether when possible.
3. Build Self-Compassion
The holiday season can intensify feelings of guilt and self-criticism. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness. Acknowledge that you’re doing your best, and it’s okay not to meet every expectation. Celebrate small victories, whether it’s successfully navigating a family gathering or simply taking a moment for self-care.
4. Set Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is crucial during the holiday season. Whether it’s declining invitations to events that drain your energy or limiting the number of commitments you take on, prioritizing your well-being is key. Communicate your needs to others and don’t hesitate to say no.
5. Create Safe Spaces
Designate areas in your home or community where you feel comfortable and secure. This could be a cozy corner of your living room, a quiet park, or a favorite coffee shop. Having a safe space allows you to retreat when the holiday hustle becomes overwhelming.
6. Utilize Crisis Counseling Resources
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or in crisis, it’s important to seek help. Many organizations offer support through text and call lines. For immediate assistance, consider reaching out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing 988 or texting "HELLO" to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line.
7. Monitor Your Stress and Energy Levels
Be mindful of your stress and energy levels throughout the season. Regularly check in with yourself to assess how you’re feeling. If you notice rising stress, take a moment to pause, breathe, and recalibrate.
8. Engage in Serving Opportunities
Finding ways to give back can be a powerful antidote to holiday stress. Consider volunteering at a local soup kitchen, writing cards for deployed soldiers, or participating in community service projects. Serving others can help shift your focus away from stress and foster a sense of connection and purpose.
Concrete Strategies to Implement
To support your emotional regulation, here are some concrete strategies you can incorporate into your daily routine:
Journaling: Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on your feelings. This practice can help you process emotions and gain perspective.
Watch Your Diet: Be mindful of sugar spikes and alcohol consumption, which can impact your mood. Opt for balanced meals and stay hydrated.
Stay Active: Regular physical activity can help reduce stress and improve your mood. Consider going for walks, participating in a holiday-themed workout, or practicing yoga.
Take Naps: Don’t underestimate the power of rest. Short naps can recharge your energy and improve your emotional resilience.
Maintain Structure: Keep some elements of your daily routine to create a sense of stability amidst holiday chaos. Whether it’s your morning coffee ritual or evening relaxation time, maintaining structure can provide comfort.
Create a Holiday Playlist: Music can influence your mood significantly. Curate a playlist of your favorite uplifting songs to enjoy during the season.
Practice Deep Breathing: Incorporate deep breathing exercises into your day. Just a few minutes of focused breathing can help ground you and alleviate stress.
The holiday season can be a beautiful yet challenging time, filled with emotions and expectations. By prioritizing your emotional well-being and implementing the tips and strategies outlined above, you can navigate this season with greater ease and joy. Join us for four weeks in November and December to build tangible support for navigating the holidays. We will spend time processing our emotions and stress, learning what’s going on in our minds from an interpersonal neurobiology lens, and build strategies for a more regulated, joyful holiday season.
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