Melissa Bandy, MA, LMFT Associate, LPC Associate, EMDR Trained
Supervised by Cristy Ragland, MA, LPC-S, LMFT-S
Building resilience in children and teens through a Christian lens involves a combination of the following:
Fostering strong relationships
Promoting a growth mindset
Teaching coping skills
Modeling resilient behavior
Integrating these elements with Biblical principles can help parents create an empowering and supportive environment for their children.
Fostering strong relationships
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
Positive relationships can be nurtured through family bonding activities. By increasing the joy experienced in parent-child relationships, parents are cultivating the soil for relational health, and emotional strength to grow. When children and teens experience the benefits of having strong relationships, they learn the importance of growing other relationships as well. Building strong relationships with others supports the mission of God's word, increases their connection to faith and resilience, while benefiting their community. These connections provide a sense of belonging and are crucial for building resilience.
Promoting a growth mindset
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Fostering a growth mindset means teaching children that their abilities can be enhanced through effort and perseverance. This approach helps children and teens view challenges as opportunities for growth. Parents can support this by praising efforts rather than results as they guide their children in problem-solving techniques.
Teaching coping skills
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you." John 14:27
Practicing coping skills together is another crucial aspect of resilience. Parents can introduce mindfulness and relaxation techniques, drawing from the peace promised in John 14:27. One excellent resource for integrating faith and mindfulness is the book Breath as Prayer by Jennifer Tucker, which offers guided breathing exercises combined with prayer to help manage stress. Encouraging healthy outlets like sports, arts, or hobbies provides children with constructive ways to manage stress. It is important for parents to guide these outlets to fit their child's individual and authentic interests rather than what society says they "should" do. This prevents shaming and ensures children receive the message that they are good enough and that their God-given interests are valued and appreciated.
Modeling resilient behavior
"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4
Modeling resilient behavior is vital. Children learn by observing their parents, so it is crucial to constructively demonstrate how to handle stress and setbacks. For instance, when facing a difficult situation, parents can model how they remain regulated and optimistic to preserve the ability to find solutions. This could involve sharing personal experiences of overcoming challenges and maintaining a positive outlook, or it could be as simple as talking through a problem and brainstorming solutions together. These actions can provide powerful lessons in resilience.
Creating a supportive environment at home and within the faith community is not just beneficial, it is essential. The stability of routines and the safety of a space where children can express their emotions and thoughts without fear of judgment can make a significant difference. Encouraging self-regulation skills, as exemplified in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control," helps children and teens build confidence and resilience. Self-regulation involves teaching children to manage their emotions and behaviors, guiding them to understand and control their reactions in various situations. The faith community, with its shared values and support, plays a crucial role in this process, providing a sense of belonging and support for parents in their journey of nurturing resilience in their children.
Highlighting the importance of discipline through discipleship is crucial. The word "discipline" originates from "disciple," meaning to teach. As parents, we teach by example, reflecting Christ's teachings that involve holding space for children and teens to develop their own ways appropriate to their age, fostering autonomy, and building trust. Proverbs 3:5-6 emphasizes, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." This guidance through discipline provides a reassuring structure for children and teens, helping them navigate life's challenges with confidence, and can make parents feel reassured and confident in their parenting approach.
By incorporating these approaches alongside Biblical teachings, parents can create a supportive and empowering atmosphere that enables young people to flourish despite challenges. When integrated into parenting strategies, the empowering nature of these Christian principles can inspire and motivate both parents and children to overcome obstacles and grow in resilience, making parents feel inspired and motivated in their parenting journey.
Resource
Breath as Prayer by Jennifer Tucker
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